was it a conversation with a potential scammer?

Q1

please help me understand the validity of this excuse: "Sorry, for professional confidentiality reasons I cannot utilize any of these initially. If you ever can simply connect by voice/phone for a few minutes sometime, your welcome to let me know."

A1

Whether this excuse is valid depends entirely on the context, but it is frequently a major red flag.

In professional and online environments, this type of phrasing is often used to mask non-compliance or to orchestrate a scam.

Here is a breakdown of when this excuse might be legitimate versus when it is likely a warning sign.

🚩 When it is a Red Flag (High Probability)

If you received this message on a freelancing platform (like Upwork or Fiverr), a job board, or an online marketplace, it is highly suspicious for the following reasons:

• Circumventing Platform Rules: Most platforms strictly forbid moving communications off-site (e.g., to a personal phone number, WhatsApp, or Telegram) before a formal contract is in place. Doing so can get accounts banned.
• Scam Tactic: Scammers frequently use "confidentiality" or "corporate policy" as an excuse to pull you away from the platform's monitored environment. Once you are communicating via phone or text, the platform cannot protect you from fraud, identity theft, or non-payment.
• The Grammar Clue: The message contains a basic grammatical error ("your welcome" instead of "you're welcome"). While anyone can make a typo, highly meticulous professionals bound by strict legal compliance rarely send external-facing communications with obvious errors.
• Vagueness: They don't specify which confidentiality policy is being violated. Simply looking at a link, filling out an initial intake form, or using a standard platform chat doesn't inherently breach professional confidentiality.

When it Might Be Valid (Low Probability)

There are a few narrow circumstances where a professional might legitimately say this:

• Highly Regulated Industries: Professionals in law, healthcare (HIPAA), or high-level finance are often restricted by corporate firewalls or strict compliance laws from entering data into unvetted, third-party applications or external links.
• Government/Defense Contractors: Individuals handling classified or proprietary information may have strict protocols against using non-sanctioned digital communication tools.
• Preference for Human Connection: Some old-school professionals simply prefer a quick phone call to screen potential clients or partners before dedicating time to digital onboarding tools.

How to Verify and Proceed

To protect yourself while maintaining professional courtesy, you can test their validity with these steps:

• Keep it on-platform: Respond by saying, "To ensure we are both protected under [Platform Name]’s Terms of Service, we need to keep our initial communications right here in the chat. If there is specific information you cannot share due to confidentiality, feel free to keep it general for now."
• Check their reaction: If they are legitimate, they will understand the need to protect your own account and will try to find a workaround within the platform. If they become aggressive, defensive, or insist on the phone call, stop communicating and report them.

To help me give you more specific advice, could you tell me:

• Where did you receive this message? (e.g., Upwork, LinkedIn, email, an online marketplace)
• What were "these" things they refused to utilize? (e.g., a link, a form, a file, the platform's chat)

Q2

 This is the whole conversation: (export conversation from the phone)

A2

Thank you for providing the full text conversation. Seeing the whole context completely changes the situation.

This excuse is highly suspect and is almost certainly a deflection.

When looking at the entire history of your chat with "Mssr Cameron," the excuse of "professional confidentiality" does not make logical sense.

Why the Excuse is Highly Questionable

• The Contradiction on Memory vs. Confidentiality: Just two minutes prior (at 22:54), he claimed he couldn't use Zoom because his "phone currently doesnt have room in memory." When you offered WhatsApp or Telegram as alternatives that wouldn't require a new app download (if he already had them), he suddenly pivoted to "professional confidentiality reasons." Shifting from a technical limitation (no storage space) to a legal/professional limitation (confidentiality) in a matter of minutes is a classic sign of making up excuses on the spot.
• This is a Personal/Social Chat, Not a Corporate Intake: You are discussing personal schedules, caring for your mom, sleep issues, and asking about music he creates. There is no proprietary data, corporate onboarding, or legal discovery happening that would trigger a "professional confidentiality" breach simply by clicking a Zoom link or using video.
• Video vs. Voice Confidentiality: There is no standard professional policy where a voice phone call is legally confidential but a video call on standard encrypted platforms (like Zoom or WhatsApp) is a breach of confidentiality—especially when you explicitly told him he could leave his camera off.
• He Initiated the Texting: He is already communicating with you via SMS text messages. Standard SMS is far less secure and confidential than encrypted platforms like WhatsApp or Zoom. A true stickler for professional confidentiality would not be texting a personal cell phone.

The Dynamic at Play

Looking at the flow of the texts, "Mssr Cameron" appears to be someone who is very insistent on dictating the terms of how you connect.

1. He has repeatedly pushed for a standard phone call or FaceTime, ignoring your repeated explanations about your sensory overload, your intensive caretaking schedule with your mom, and why video helps you manage interruptions.
2. He uses highly formal, slightly grand language ("Exceptional One," "Lady Krin," "endeavour to receive a phonecall"), but then completely shuts down the conversation ("Thank you anyway! 🙁") the moment you establish a firm boundary about needing a platform where you can easily pause or show your environment.

Summary

The excuse is not valid. It is a conversational roadblock used because he wants a direct, unmonitored voice call on his terms and is unwilling to accommodate your caretaking and sensory needs. You set a very clear, reasonable boundary for your own well-being, and his response was to deflect with a buzzword ("confidentiality") to close the conversation.

Given how exhausting caretaking can be, it's completely understandable to want to protect your energy. If you plan to reply to him, would you like me to help you draft a firm response that stands your ground regarding Zoom, or would you prefer to just leave the conversation where it is?

Q3

How could a unmonitored voice call help him? Is the FaceTime he had suggested also unmonitored? What if we had had that?

A3

An "unmonitored" call helps him because it leaves absolutely no digital paper trail and strips away the safety boundaries you established.

In digital safety and psychology, shifting a conversation from text or structured video to a direct, real-time voice call is a strategic move. Here is exactly how a voice call serves his agenda, how FaceTime fits into that, and what likely would have happened if you had agreed.

1. How an unmonitored voice call helps him

• No Paper Trail: Text messages and Zoom links leave permanent, shareable records. If he intends to pitch a high-pressure scam, make inappropriate remarks, or manipulate you, a standard phone call ensures there is no recording or transcript that you can easily show to others, post online, or report to authorities.
• Psychological Pressure and Control: Real-time voice calls force you to react instantly. He knows you are exhausted, sleep-deprived, and actively managing your mother’s care. On a voice call, it is incredibly easy to interrupt you, talk over you, use smooth or urgent tones, and pressure you into agreeing to things before you have time to process them.
• Hiding His True Environment: On a voice call, you cannot see where he is. He could be in a crowded call center, sitting in a messy room, or surrounded by notes of what to say to you.

2. Is FaceTime also unmonitored?

Yes, in the context of record-keeping, FaceTime is just as unmonitored as a standard phone call.

While FaceTime is a video platform, Apple strictly prevents the built-in screen recording feature from capturing audio during a FaceTime call to protect privacy. Unless you have a secondary physical device (like a camera or a tape recorder) actively filming your phone screen, a FaceTime call vanishes into thin air the moment you hang up.

Furthermore, FaceTime bypasses third-party corporate or platform links completely—it is a direct peer-to-peer connection tied straight to your personal Apple ID or phone number.

3. What if you had agreed to the call?

If you had agreed to a standard voice call or a FaceTime call, you likely would have experienced three immediate issues:

• Complete Disregard for Your Caretaking Boundaries: You explicitly stated that you needed a visual platform (Zoom) so he could see the reality of your environment and know when you had to abruptly pause to attend to your mom. On a voice or FaceTime call, he would not have that context. If your mom needed you, he would likely keep talking, interpret your silence as rudeness, or use the disruption to keep you off-balance.
• The "Professional pitch" or Pivot: Given his sudden pivot to "professional confidentiality," the moment he got you on the phone, he likely would have dropped the casual friend/music persona and shifted into a scripted, high-pressure professional pitch—asking for money, trying to get you to invest in something, or seeking sensitive personal information under the guise of an "exclusive opportunity."
• Exploitation of Your Exhaustion: Because you have been incredibly open about your vertigo, lack of sleep, and sensory overload, a manipulator on a voice call would use that to their advantage. They can sense hesitation in your voice, catch you when your defenses are down, and steer the conversation entirely on their terms.

By insisting on Zoom and stating exactly why you needed it, you accidentally set a perfect trap for his motives. The moment he realized he couldn't get you isolated on an unrecorded, high-pressure voice line where he could control the pace, he immediately shut down and walked away. Your boundaries protected you perfectly.

Are you still in contact with this person, or did the conversation end completely after that text? If you want, I can help you analyze specific phrases he used earlier in the text that point to common manipulation tactics.

Q4

Yes Would love to hear about the specific phrases he used earlier in the text that point to common manipulation tactics.

A4

By looking back at the full transcript, "Mssr Cameron" uses several classic linguistic patterns found in emotional manipulation, high-pressure sales, and social engineering.

Here are the specific phrases he used and the tactics they represent:

1. The "Love Bombing" & Excessive Flattery

• The Phrases: "💐Warm Greetings Krin! ... I hope all is well with you, Kiddo and your Mom!💐", "Exceptional One!", "Just wanted you to know you were being fondly thought of😊", "Lots of Light Lady Krin☀", "I think you could be worth waiting for😊"
• The Tactic: Love Bombing / Rapport Acceleration. Manipulators use intense warmth, compliments, and overly affectionate language early on to artificially fast-track a sense of intimacy and trust. Notice how he creates nicknames for you ("Lady Krin", "Exceptional One") and casually throws in your family members ("Kiddo and your Mom"). This is designed to make you feel deeply seen and cared for, making it harder for you to say "no" to them later.

2. The Illusion of Compliance and False Empathy

• The Phrases: "I understand", "I understand the Sensory overload phenomena 💐", "Worry not. I'm smart enough not to have expectations. I interact based on agreements..."
• The Tactic: Mirroring and Validation. He explicitly tells you exactly what you want to hear: that he understands your complex sensory needs. However, his actions immediately contradict his words. Right after claiming he understands your sensory overload and caretaking limits, he repeatedly pesters you to talk right now, or late at night, completely ignoring the strict schedule you just laid out. Manipulators use validation to lower your guard, hoping you won't notice that their actual behavior is entirely selfish.

3. Creating Artificial Urgency and Persistent Pushing

• The Phrases: "Want to endeavour to receive a phonecall around 11or midnight?", "Is it too late this evening, to make quick initial contact at least?", "Want to, and able to connect sometime today or evening?", "might you be reachable right now?", "Foresee any potential in a conversation this evening perhaps?"
• The Tactic: Boundary Testing and Wear-Down. Look at the sheer volume of times he asks to get you on a live call despite you repeatedly explaining how exhausted, sick, and busy you are. He keeps fishing for an opening, hoping to catch you at a vulnerable, sleepy moment when your cognitive defenses are low. This is a classic "wear-down" tactic used to make the victim eventually give in just to make the pestering stop.

4. Vague Superiority and "The Hook"

• The Phrases: "Thank you for your curiosity regarding my work. Glad to share after we converse😊"
• The Tactic: Information Withholding / The Clifffhanger. When you ask him about his music or profile, he intentionally gatekeeps the information, wrapping his "work" in a shroud of mystery. He refuses to give you a simple link or answer over text. By dangling this information and saying "Glad to share after we converse," he is using your natural curiosity as a bargaining chip to force you onto the phone.

5. Sudden Emotional Withdrawal / Guilt-Tripping

• The Phrases: "Hmmmm...apparently so:) Sweet Dreams Krin!🌠", "Thank you anyway!🙁"
• The Tactic: The Sulk / Conditional Warmth. Notice how his tone shifts instantly when he doesn't get his way. At 22:12, he asks to call. When you don't answer within 27 minutes, he sends a passive-aggressive passive text ("apparently so:)"). Later, when you hold your ground on the Zoom link, the excessive flowers and "Lady Krin" titles vanish instantly, replaced by a cold, abrupt "Thank you anyway!🙁". This is designed to make you feel guilty for "ruining" the connection, pushing you to chase after him and apologize by giving him the phone call he wants.

The Takeaway

This individual is highly skilled at sounding polite, spiritual, and deeply respectful on the surface, while textually acting like a bulldozer against your actual boundaries. The moment his charm failed to override your practical requirement for a Zoom link, he pulled the plug. You handled this beautifully by focusing on your reality rather than his flattery.

Are you worried about him reaching back out to try a different angle, or are you comfortable blocking his number and letting this go? If you expect him to message again, I can help you draft a final, zero-leverage text to permanently close the door.

Q5:

Let's run a counter audit, what if it was a non scammer, would an ordinary person with innocent intentions, would showing these behaviors or phrases ever have a perfectly reasonable explanation or be something an innocent romantic person might ever do?  Assuming he might be a reasonable person, how might he percieve our dialogue?

A5

To run a truly balanced counter-audit, we have to strip away the "scammer" lens and look at this through the lens of human quirkiness, romantic idealism, and cultural differences.

If this is a completely well-meaning person with innocent—possibly romantic—intentions, his behavior paints a picture of someone who is old-school, deeply infatuated, technologically challenged, and increasingly insecure.

Here is the reasonable explanation for his behavior, followed by how he likely perceives your dialogue from his side of the screen.

---

The "Innocent" Explanation for His Phrases & Behaviors

• The Excessive Flattery ("Lady Krin", "Exceptional One"): In the world of modern texting, this feels like "love bombing." However, in the world of an older, eccentric, or highly romantic individual (especially someone who creates music or art), this is often just how they express affection. He may view himself as a "chivalrous gentleman" using poetic, old-fashioned courtly language to show deep respect and admiration.
• The Insistence on Voice Over Video: If he is older or simply un-tech-savvy, his phone's memory might legitimately be full of photos or music files, preventing a Zoom download. Furthermore, many innocent people suffer from intense camera anxiety. He might be self-conscious about his appearance, his living space, or his aging, making a phone call feel incredibly safe, while a surprise video call feels terrifying and exposing.
• The Sudden Switch to "Professional Confidentiality": When you pressed him on WhatsApp or Telegram, he may have panicked. If he uses his phone primarily for a strict day job (like counseling, consulting, or government work), he might genuinely have a blanket corporate rule drilled into his head: "Never use unapproved encrypted messaging apps on this device." Instead of explaining his whole corporate IT policy, he used a clunky, defensive buzzword ("professional confidentiality") to shut down the topic because he felt cornered.
• The Pestering for Calls: He may be a chronic "extroverted verbal processor." People who hate texting find long, multi-paragraph texts overwhelming to read and type. To an innocent but eager person, asking "Can I call right now?" isn't a tactic to wear you down—it’s an attempt to save time and establish a genuine human connection because they feel text messages are cold and easily misunderstood.

---

How He Might Perceive Your Dialogue (His Perspective)

Assuming he is a reasonable, well-intentioned person who genuinely likes you, your texts likely feel deeply intimidating, chaotic, and heavily guarded. Here is how he might be reading the situation:

                  THE TWO PERSPECTIVES
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ WHAT HE THINKS HE IS DOING:                              │
│ Reaching out gently, trying not to disturb your mother,  │
│ offering a simple, warm phone call to hear your voice.   │
└────────────────────────────┬─────────────────────────────┘
                             │
                             ▼
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ HOW HE PERCEIVES YOUR RESPONSES:                         │
│ Highly unpredictable, intensely complicated, and filled  │
│ with logistical barriers.                                │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

• He feels your lifestyle is an impenetrable fortress: You have provided highly detailed accounts of extreme sleep deprivation, vertigo, strict and unpredictable caretaking schedules, guests staying until 1 AM, and family members running in the background. To a regular outsider, this sounds incredibly intense. He likely feels like he is walking on eggshells, terrified of accidentally waking up your mom or triggering your vertigo.
• He feels rejected and pushed away: He keeps asking for a simple 5-minute phone call. In response, you send complex scheduling rules (listing specific forbidden days) and insist that he must log onto a computer or a third-party app to watch you on a video screen just so you can "monitor his reactions" and manage your environment. To an innocent person, this can feel less like a boundary and more like a clinical interrogation or a strict corporate onboarding process.
• He thinks you are hiding behind your text messages: When you stated, "we will never know until the actual hour of... we might know when it isn't, but we will never know when it is," a reasonable person might throw their hands up in despair. He likely thinks, "She is never going to actually talk to me. She is using her chaotic schedule as a polite way to keep me at arm's length."
• His final "Thank you anyway! 🙁": This text might not be a manipulative sulk. It could be a genuine, sad realization of incompatibility. He likely thought: "I just want a simple, normal phone relationship. She needs a highly controlled video-logistics setup that I don't have the technology or comfort level for. Our lives are just too different." He stepped away because he felt defeated, not because he was caught.

The Balanced Verdict

If he is a scammer, he is textbook. If he is an innocent romantic, he is someone who is romantically eager but emotionally and logistically mismatched for your current reality. He wants a simple, spontaneous connection, while your life currently requires strict, protective structure. Either way, the breakdown happened because your protective boundaries clashed with his personal limitations.

Looking at this softer, non-scammer possibility, how does it sit with you? Do you feel a sense of relief thinking it might just be an incompatibility, or does your gut feeling still tell you to keep your guard up?

Q6

If he is legitimate, could his Professional Confidentiality possible be accurate, and if it's not, how do I point that out? And If if is accurate, how can I provide him a way to meet his needs for professional Confidentiality while still also getting my needs met for a video call even if I do not have his FaceTime?

A6

It looks like there's no response available for this search. Try asking something else.

Please attempt to answer these questions given your limitations: If he is legitimate, could his Professional Confidentiality possible be accurate, and if it's not, how do I point that out? And If if is accurate, how can I provide him a way to meet his needs for professional Confidentiality while still also getting my needs met for a video call even if I do not have his FaceTime?

Q7

Please attempt to answer these questions given your limitations: If he is legitimate, could his Professional Confidentiality possible be accurate, and if it's not, how do I point that out? And If if is accurate, how can I provide him a way to meet his needs for professional Confidentiality while still also getting my needs met for a video call even if I do not have his FaceTime?

A7

Could His "Professional Confidentiality" Be Accurate?

Yes, it is possible, but only under very specific technical and corporate constraints.

If he is legitimate, the issue isn't the concept of video itself; it is the software application being used. In corporate, government, or legal sectors, organizations strictly manage what software can be downloaded onto company-issued devices.

• The Enterprise Lockdown: If he is using a work-issued phone, his company's IT department may completely block the installation of external apps like Zoom, Telegram, or WhatsApp to prevent data leaks.
• The "Unapproved Channel" Rule: In highly regulated fields (like finance or healthcare), using a consumer messaging app to communicate with anyone can violate compliance laws (like FINRA or HIPAA), because the company cannot audit or archive those chats.
• Why FaceTime or Voice is Different: Standard cell voice lines and FaceTime are native Apple features built directly into the operating system. They don't require downloading an unapproved third-party app, which is why his IT policy might allow them while banning Zoom.

---

How to Gently Point Out if It Isn't Accurate

If you suspect he is just using "confidentiality" as a lazy excuse because he doesn't want to deal with Zoom, you can call his bluff politely. The key is to separate his personal privacy from legal corporate confidentiality.

You can text him this:

"I totally respect work boundaries, but I want to clarify that this is just a personal, casual chat between us. You don't need a work account, and we won't be discussing anything proprietary. If your work phone is locked down, do you have a personal device or an old tablet we could use instead?"

How to read his reaction:

• If he is legitimate: He will likely say something like, "Ah, I see. Unfortunately, I only have this one work phone right now," or he will offer a genuine workaround.
• If he is making it up: He will likely get defensive, repeat the buzzword without explaining it, or twist it to make you feel bad for questioning him.

---

How to Meet Both of Your Needs (The Compromise)

If his compliance restriction is 100% real, you can bridge the gap between his need for a native/approved channel and your need for a visual environment.

Here are three ways to get a video connection without you having FaceTime and without him downloading Zoom:

1. Google Meet via a Web Browser (No App Download Needed)

This is your best option. Google Meet allows people to join a video call directly through a standard web browser (like Safari or Chrome) on their phone.

• Why it works for him: He does not have to download a third-party app onto his work phone. He just clicks a link, and it opens in his normal internet browser.
• Why it works for you: You get a full video interface where you can see his reactions, control your camera, and easily pause if your mom needs you.
• What to say: "I understand your work phone restricts app downloads. We can use Google Meet instead—you don't have to download anything at all; it just opens safely right in your phone's internet browser when you click the link. Would that work?"

2. The FaceTime Web Link (Apple to Non-Apple)

Many people do not know that Apple allows Android or Windows users to join FaceTime calls now. He can actually generate a FaceTime link from his iPhone and text it to you. You can open that link on your non-Apple computer or phone browser.

• Why it works for him: He gets to use FaceTime, which is already approved on his phone.
• Why it works for you: You get the video layout you need on your screen.
• What to say: "Since FaceTime is approved on your device, you can actually create a FaceTime Link in your app and text it to me. I can open it on my end even without an iPhone. That way your phone stays compliant and I get the visual setup I need."

3. Standard Voice Call + Real-Time Photo/Video Verification

If his phone is completely locked down from any video whatsoever, you can request a hybrid approach to accommodate your caretaking environment.

• How it works: You agree to a standard voice call, but you explicitly text him a quick 5-second video clip or photo of your environment right before dialing. This visually establishes your caretaking reality ("Here is where I am sitting, mom is right here").
• What to say: "If video is completely impossible due to your IT rules, we can try a short voice call. Because of my caretaking pace, I'll text you a quick snapshot of my setup right before we talk so you have the visual context of what's happening on my end if I have to abruptly mute."

If you decide to offer one of these options, which one feels the most comfortable and manageable for your sensory and caretaking needs? I can help you write the exact text message to send him based on whichever one you choose.

Oct, oops nope, now it's November 2026

 10pm to midnight ..

Sad so much time was wasted on this person. 

:(

probably more than you want to know about me, lol updated profile as of Sept/Oct 2026

Spiritual Singles

gardendreamer

"Help us Create an Urban FoodForest Story inside th city"

Profile Visibility:   Visible Hidden.

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Houston, Texas, USA
50 - Female - Straight
Seeking: 18 - 98

My Profile

• About
• Media
  2
• Match Questions
• MMP
• Personal Info

Relationship Seeking:

LTR, Friends, Travel Companion, Pen Pals, Just Curious, Other, Celibate Relationship, Celibate Marriage

Spoken Languages:

English

Marital Status:

Divorced

Spiritual Beliefs:

Conscious/Spiritual

Dietary Preference:

I eat anything

Drink?

I drink socially

Tobacco?

I don’t smoke

420 Friendly:

No marijuana for me

Often Exercise:

1-2 days/week

Energy Level:

Average

Education:

Some college

How Green?

Medium Green (mostly green lifestyle)

Political Views:

Prefer not to say

Have Children?

I have one child

Want Children?

Other

Living situation:

My kids live with me full-time

Willing to relocate:

No

Sun Sign:

Not sure

Rising Sign:

Not Sure

Moon Sign:

Not sure

Chinese Sign:

Not Sure

Ethnicity:

Other

Height:

5’0-5’3 (1.52 m - 1.62 m)

Body Type:

Slim/Slender

Ayurvedic Body Type:

Not sure

Weight:

Less than 100 lbs (45.45 kg)

Hair Color:

Brown

Hair Style:

Medium curly/wavy

Eye Color:

Brown eyes

Use eyewear?

Other

More Depth

Describe yourself (personality/attitude/passions/beliefs):

First off - to save you from having to read any further.... I am NOT on here to find a sexual intimate relationship with anyone.. I am celibate, secular celibate to be precise.. and I am ONLY on here to find ONLY friendships for myself AND my family. I seeks spirits/souls who would also be willing to help my family and I to do what we need to do to some day be able to go back and save our land, and to maybe do our projects with us. (the moderators do not want me to go into much, if any, detail because they want to avoid classified ads and would prefer i stick with what I am looking for in a romantic partner. - But see, that is exactly what I am looking for in an eventual romantic partner:: Ie my family and I seek the person who could actually help us with our dream AS A FRIEND to our whole family first.. But they cannot be seeking just a single partner in me bc I am horrible at all the physical stuff. In order for me to feel physically comfortable to even be around other people, let alone to ever one day becoming intimate again, I would need to be feel mentally and emotionallly secure with a person for many many years. Perhaps even decades.... Ie why I only seek friendships only. Please respect that I can only handle friendships please.

. I can only be romanced by people who are first and foremost a close friend to my whole family and i! Not just me.. you have to let all of us into your life - its my whole family(not just me) into your life or none at all.

Please Do not ask me be to ever be separate from my family! That is an instantaneous deal breaker and I most likely will cut off contact or at the least will become quite discouraging if this requested...

Hopefully this intro will weed out the folks who are only interested in looking for an intimate partner.

Originally back before 2026, I was originally looking for someone to help us outbid my neighbors out to buy my ex out and to help us do our dream to convert our family's property into a spiritual, sustainable, regenerative edible, zero waste oasis INSIDE a big city.

But sadly unfortunately,
we lost that particular home...(Though It would be my dream to get that land back someday before I pass away..- one of the many top items on my bucket list you could say)..

now that this has happened, the concept of anything beyond friendship is completely beyond me because
we are in a state of pure survival week to week, more like day to day ..

so I apologize if I am too mentally and emotionally exhausted to do anything more than friendships these days...

Now that we lost our main home,
if we can figure out how to get more clients for the family despite our millions of limitations and obstacles now, and or if we can figure out how to stay afloat until one of our online projects are a success,
we are still hoping to save what little remains of our family's land,...

though I admit, for right now I am often a bit more paralyzed by all the over stimulation of stressing about money and my own internal struggle about having to get new clients instead of just giving to people - just to make ends meet.. so I deeply apologize how until I can get more clients that are okay with my being on call with mom full time..sigh....that I might be a little standoffish for a little bit.

Hopefully once I am feeling more financially secure and once all of our dreams aren't in dire threat of being destroyed, I will go back to being my more open flirtatious self...lol...

I know most folks on here only want us to do this dream of ours OUTSIDE a city and only on their own land and not our own land, and although we would love to meet everyone who has made this offer and someday go visit each of these people's properties and video and film each place, please respect that if you want to honor our dream, you will honor the idea that it's our own family's land (or what remains of it now that the main home was lost) that we wish to find a way to save....

We also do not wish to marry our into the countryside. We wish to transform the insides of cities... Or at least small places inside the city ...

We are looking for the rare unicorn who would be up for the psychic and mental challenge it will take to create that kijnd of symbiosis with nature - - INSIDE a big city.

So instead of leaving the city to find the healing of the spirit - - to instead be up for the ultimate challenge of bringing a healing node of synergy right back INTO the city.

Creating a network of safe beautiful healing nodes WiTHIN the city. Starting with THIS city.

Healing the cities from within.
A healing of the spirit from the inside out! ;)

But even if you would not be interested in that, perhaps there is still some way we can be of mutual help to one another.

I believe the universe put us in each other's pathway for a reason.

For a mutual exchange of energy in some form of another to help each other with each others dreams and goals!

Definitely any small way you would be willing to help make our dreams and vision we have for this very special little spot in the earth come true would be appreciated.. Even if it is something small way by telling folks about us or about our various media projects? Or by letting us offer to you one of our services..? Or finding some way we can be of service to you from our beautiful little teeny tiny little urban home. (Keep in mind Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder, so even though its beautiful to us - it might take you a change in perspective to see the beauty of both our ideas and our place. We are an acquired taste that takes time to learn the true beauty of ;)

Letting us and allowing us and helping us to convert our family's special little urban vortex spaces into a place that we dream about - these very special tiny spots on this earth where individuals can come together to learn about body awareness with a slight spiritual awareness, regenerative gardening, symbiotic living with nature, and being within a City - all at the same time ....

showing that it CAN be done INSIDE the city. -

on these very special spots of this earth that holds so so so much incredible meaning to me and my little family (grandma, me and kiddo)

(By the way, i am amazed how many folks keep missing this very important detail ->>>
- ->>>> that What we wish to accomplish can only be done from WITHIN a city..

..

My personal mantra is:

Lots of them

Patience is Key! Just breathe! Remember to keep a sense of humor! Think about If we were to share this story on a comedy show.....
Compassion will keep you safe. allow yourself to be a conduit of love


These is our personal krineteagle brand of ABC's:
Appreciate adventure, Allow awareness,
Acceptance of Awe
and every variation of all of these
Breathe beauty, Be balanced
Choose Celebration
& compassionate centering
With many different variations in between...

Don't forget the all powerful 'AND'..

...

Describe the type of person you'd like to meet:

inner wisdom

To be honest, and I know this is a horrible thing to write on a dating site, but if I am going to be honest,
Half joking/half serious the actual kind of people I would like to meet in the world are clients .. bc in my world, good friends would be good clients if they could afford it

and good clients also would be the best of friends with us .

And these days, I think I am beginning to or starting to believe that the person I am probably most likely going to fall in love with and open myself up to would most likely be a soul who had actually been willing to be financially kind to my family.

Its just something Ive started to notice about myself recently as I've noticed that those folks who have cared about our financial survival and freedom to do our dream seems to be the folks I far more celebrate and am happy to give up my precious resting time for...but that those folks who just want to take our energy and attention and talk our ear off for five hours straight but who are unwilling to offer anything back in return, that those people leave us feeling utterly exhausted. I don't believe in telling people I don't have time for them. If they are kind to mom and leave her feeling included I will be okay with it. Or if they are useful to us in some other way, I feel like I owe them this time. But These days I am so exhausted by Moms dementia and the loss of our home, that I find it exhausting to be around people who just want my family's ears, time and energy for absolutely nothing back in return.. it takes a lot out of kiddo and I to supply that to people....and we are already tired as it is...

Its also exhausting when people are trying to flirt with only menand don't try to include the family and or who try to encourage me to separate myself from my family. If you are going to be like that, could you please save my time and go find someone else please. Please. Thank you.

but for those who offer us even the tiniest bit of mental freedom via small tokens of gifts that allow us or help us to being able to do our dreams or help us with in some way to help support ourselves out of kindness ...and not our of hope that will one day kiss them or cuddle with them... ..those friends who just want us to be able to have a tiny bit of financial freedom just for kindness and just because they like hanging out with my family and I (not needing anything specific from me ) ..but who just enjoy our family's company.. - those are the friends who I tend to label as utterly priceless and whom we go out of our way to take care of.....

In some magical fantasy dream world, yes sure we would love for you to have the money to be a backer in helping to save our properties to help transform them into regenerative land that both teaches and helps to create an abundant oasis for both those who help out on the land but also to others who are in need.., sure that's be nice......

Buttttt my family & i also wish to find souls that we can help out in our own small way from way over here in our own little mini world.

I hope you will let us encourage you in your own dream and get to stay friends with you over the years... :)

I believe we were put across each other's pathway for a reason.

That we were meant to help each other out in some way or another.

yes sure, we want to save our family's land & pray that we will find a relationship with someone who will allow us to keep being able to live in our home and do our projects

but our family as a family unit likes to be allowed to help others to heal and feel safe as well...

We believe in inner wisdom & patience. We believe in communication & empathy & active listening & body listening

We want to be allowed to use our skills and knowledge to be of service to you

Do you ever feel like you just need to mentally hugged and loved, even if you are not being hugged physically?

It may be awhile before I feel fully safe and secure and empowered again to hug people in person again, but mentally hugs are amazing as well!

Right now though what I hope for is friendships whom I CAN feel safe with.. and where I know we can mutually be of help to one another.

People we can trust to help us keep our dreams safe, who will accept us and love us as we are!,who will encourage us to do our projects, Who will reassurance and delight in our silliness & learning.

And who will let us help them in exchange for helping us in some of the ways we need help with as well.

A mutual exchange of help in each other's goals.

...

Describe the ideal relationship:

ideally, I want a relationship with a person who would actually be willing to help us to fund and or do our projects,

But kiddo & I also need people who are happy and content with just letting us help them in some way

- especially if you would be willing to value our company and our dialogue enough to help us out in some of the small ways we ask for help with...

Ideally you wouldnt need me to be connected in a sexual way.. But content with just allowing us to be friends with you?

Frankly I will be honest, i would prefer friends who would also be willing to be one of our holistic 'clients' as well who would be okay with helping us financially or with services in exchange for our own cheering you and helping you with your own goals

ideally you would allow me to be a celibate monk? At least until I am ready to be something different, but in meantime, I really do need you to just be happy with my whole family unit just being a special friend to you

admittedly eventually it would be nice to allow for the space for the connection to evolve into even more someday..

But it would need to be with someone who would be willing to allow for my passion for recording the world and for my connection to my family's property
Recognizing that they form a connection not just to me, but also to my family as single whole unit as well.

That we are all parts of a whole.

...

What are your relationship dealbreakers?

Ooooh I love this question bc over the years I've been learning about myself and come to realize I actually do have some dealbreakers

Dealbreaker 1)
Impatience, judgements, demands
- when people act impatiently with myself or with any members of my family, that tends to deter me from encouraging continued connection. My mother and I are extra slow and we will push your patience levels to its max.
- we have a rebellious nature and our instinct is to rebel when people make bossy or demanding or coercive requests
Although short term we are willing to put up with a lot, we don't tend to encourage folka if they are constantly in impatience or non-accepting or non-allowing with any of us.

Dealbreaker 2 - any requests for me to spend time with them without my family around. If that is a requirement, keep searching. Even if I am willing, the idea of that being requested I find offensive. I do not enjoy people's company if I am not being allowed to share it with my family. You might be enjoying having me to yourself , but I won't enjoy it.

If you want me to enjoy your company, my family has to be allowed to be around.

Maybe after a few YEARS of your being a close friend of the family, I might become more comfortable to be around you without them around, but I haven't found anyone that I've enjoyed more then my family yet ..and I ma not likely to bx the very request leaves me not comfortable around people - so please , don't even ask.

If you want me to feel comfortable with you, have it where the family loves you so much that I just becoming so accustomed to you that I don't think twice about your being around.

Dealbreaker 3)
anyone who requires sex with me

Dealbreaker 4)
not allowing us to have a digital back up memory so if you afraid of anything about you being digitally remembered, we would not be a good match

Dealbreaker 5)
anybody shouting verbally abusively or physically abusive statements. Any guilt trips about our being who and how we are. Any berating of us for the parts about us that are inconvenient to you. Any requirements for us to be different or better ...if that is what you need,.then please please find someone else please.

Thank you


....

-

What should a great date consist of?

Spendin time with you and my family in the garden

discussing science and or religion, spirituality or philosophy, the world around us and or history

and well whatever other mjsc bits of insights and wisdoms or observations or pondering our inner souls wish to share with one another

An topic that comes into being.

Or even just enjoying a peaceful quiet enjoying of each other's existence,maybe just meditating or doing some simple yoga, Qigong,taichi or some other form of bodymind listening?

Either way,
allowing me to simply be quietly purring away content like the kitty cat gets to do -- letting and even encouraging me to audio record the whole beautiful conversation of delight & joy & being

...

What do you like to do for fun/activities?

video, plant edible plants in my own garden, listening to my son converse with people, sharing life with my familly, eating yummy organic/sustainable meals, watching documentaries/films with my family, curling up with my family

...

What is something you've learned about yourself from a relationship?

It turns out i am actually picky about how I want to be allowed to live life

..

Share something unusual or extra special about yourself:

i video / take pictures of well, everything... all of life.. esp if it involves a transition or change of any kind... we also live in symbiosis with the tech to create a synthetic back up memory to our limited human memory banks. (this is a problem for some people, so you will need to be comfortable with this if you want to be around us. Especially after mom started developing memory issues, we have found it extrememly useful but even before kiddo and I found it extremely useful should there ever be even the mildest of conflicts, and it also has allowed for incredible insight in active listening & perspective learning.

Also unusual: i treat kids like equal human beings and only respect the other adults who do the same and who never treat others as lesser human beings because of age, sex, race, or abilities.

i know how to cook without a recipe ((apparantly not every one is willing to do this..though i agree, having a rough idea of the ingredients does make a difference))

i have been body listening my whole life

....

important - why do we want to do what we want to do INSiDE our city? Read this below:

btw.. there is a question i often get asked in terms of the land we are trying to save.. and i realized that the answer is kind of something that leaves kiddo and I quite unique:

most people want to sell off their city land to buy something OUTSIDE of the city.. TAHT is NOT US!

we want to show how one can live a zero-waste, regenerative, food forest oasis sort of way in a symbiotic harmony with both the land and the people around them INSIDE a city, in just your typical everyday neighborhoods regardless of whether they have an HOA, or just whereever they are in the city.

Our need, drive, ambition, desire, what we care about : is to save our own home that we live in (any help towards this miracle would be much appreciated by friends and strangers alike..)

eventually we would like to save other places connected to our family as well - this would consists of 5 different sections in five very different parts of our town/city in Houston! Yes we know its Texas, but Texas has a lot of beauty in it.

Eventually the goal would be to save ALLLLLL FIVE parts. Three of which will could eventually pay for itself in a regenerative way with the vision we have for them.. while the other two more are so small,.they would more basically be used as a storage back up places and a free food forest for the local neighborhood more as a gift to the surrounding neighborhood, which are in some not so great food desert parts of town.

But what makes us unique I think is that we don't just want ANY piece of random land that we can work and that will bring money back.

Instead,
We want to work the land that MEANS something to us. This land. The land that we have a history and story with.

That is the land that holds an emotional meaning to us.

I know many many people will not be able to relate to this, but This land is more a part of our story then any human being ever..

and so we want to tell the story of our evolution of who and how we are using this land as the main tool to do this. THIS land, not some random other piece of new piece of land. but this one that holds our history of who, and how, and why we are the way we are.

it also includes the where we come from and what we are as well. it is a very very special land to us.. so we please request that you show respect to our wish and understand our reason well enough to not ask us: "but why not just sell and go somewhere else where you can own MORE,. and where it might be EASIER to do what you want to do. "

I have now explained why this land and not some other. - - It isn't about ease. or having more. - - it is about taking what we already have, on land that actually holds a deep meaning and a deep connection to our very essence,

and showing how it can be done on what is already here. inside OUR city.

For example, one of our most favorite places in the big bustling city of New York, is this small little rose/flower garden right next to a big street with tons of traffic and people, but when you walk into that little garden, your world becomes transformed and you enter another world, and your mind all but blocks out the noise surrounding the garden. you have entered a new world.. a respite .. a place to rest, recover, recoooperate, right then in the middle of the city. a little haven .. a regenerative haven that connects you back to earth and yourself.

now that is the dream... to create that in a place that holds meaning to US .

We want a relationship with someone who understands and accepts our dream and what we value.. which is why we have spent so much time trying to explain what we care about.

I so hope you will help us to do that on this land that means so so so so much to us.. please
thank you!

Even if it's just be being a friend,

or by following along on our journey through one of the online avenues we created, or by actually becoming an actual partner with us on this journey

ahh.. couple last detail that makes us rather unique.. um.. we do things SLOW..

like really super slow. so you will need a ton of patience with us. like it will be a test of your patience and acceptance levels.

final bit: it is a very long story, but I can no longer can drive a car .. so there's that...

And sadly, our world doesn't get to fully be functional again until we one day have access to a way of becoming independently mobile again.. so in any one wants to gift us an etrike (which doesnt require a driver's license) that we could drive mom around town in , that would be a humongous blessing and quite the gift of a type of functionality that so many take so deeply for granted.

When it was just kiddo and I, walking on foot or bus or bike was one thing, but with mom, whom we cannot leave alone at home anymore, something with 3 wheels is needed.
Sigh. Sigh.. sigh......

..

Describe your work/business and what it means to you:

right now my job mostly consists of caring for elderly mom and raising a homeschooling teenager, while trying to keep our lives afloat until we are ready to go forward in create an online prescence to share ideas we would like to encourage being shared...

If we were allowed, we would like to go back to being allowed to help people feel connected to their bodies and themselves while giving them the benefit of loving attention from our whole family. I like to think of it as our little "rent a family oxytocin" service.. though admittley these days I have been so burned out by grief and watching moms dementia, that I struggle to even get up the strength to even offer that much to the world. So, even if people were interacting in such an offering right now, I could maybe only offer that a few hours at most any given month. Though without the home, I havent been able to figure out how to offer that in such a way that anyone would be comfortable with anymore anyways. Sigh. Sorry. Just really mentally tired myself right now..

ideally, some day we would also like to share our very unusual edible garden knowledge...,
Go back to teaching bodymind listening (th lough I do still occasional make some videos of sharing some of my own struggles with that right now)
helping kiddo with design work
And ideally some investor will allow us to save what remains of our land and build on it to provide out to those who want to be experience a food forest oasis/retreat inside the middle of a city

Along with maybe renting out the garden as a yoga space or small event teaching space or where artists,writers, body practitioners, small music groups could rent out - but since we lost our main home, that would take some time to re-establish on whatever remains, that is if we don't lose any of what is left as well, who h at this point .. sadness..

ideally we would also make podcasts and do more with sharing our journey on youtube though currently we are not quite ready to go full force just yet on that. Just drips and drops...

not sure if we are allowed to share our links, but if you contact us, there is a lovely little link to a small sharing of a conversation we made several years ago when kiddo was little on the topic of empathy that I love to share..
Or if we could share the other video experiments we made and wanted to share, we would be very honored to be allowed to share it with you.

..

What does being *conscious* mean to you?

being aware of one's body and one's emotions and why you think a certain way and being aware of the people around you, their emotions, and why they think the way they do, being aware of the plants/life forces/life all around you,

...

How long and what motivated you to be on a conscious path?

a buddhist father, a mother who loves gardening, my son, every darn event and experience in our lives...

...

How are you environmentally conscious & what are you doing to help the planet?

attempting to practice a form of zero waste, composting, attempting to teach others about more environmentally harmonious ways of living, ,trying to convert our garden into a mostly edible and sustainable garden, though i mostly only work with 'exotic'gereen since I seem to kind of not know how to do regular vegetables :/, sigh

..

What types of healing modalities do you practice or would you like to learn?

body listening: mostly shoulders and back. (similar to a combination of reiki, rosenmethod, tui nai, jin shin, trigger, passive joint movement, swedish, deep tissue, shiatsu, active listening, )
would love to learn more about conflict transformation, active listening, empathy, mediating, and other massage styles, interested in all forms of healing and listening.

...

Do you follow any specific teachings or mentors? Why?

For our homeschooling we were influenced by migata sutra.. no wait, I mean sugata mitra...always remember that name wrong.
For permaculture, Geoff Lawton,
For soil regeneration: Matt Powers who was in Geoff first online class with us
For spiritual and holistic living - too many to list
For bodymind, many but fond of hybrid calisthenics, flexyguy amongst many many many others. Lately enjoyed nil tisner

..

What "imperfections" are you embracing or changing?

I am trying to learn more patience with myself and others when they are feeling impatient,
Trying to be more allowing and forgiving when other people wante to be different than I am,
tolerance for others being the way they are when it interferes with our dreams and hopes
and to have a sense of humor about people, my family, and the world...

...

What types of books/authors do you enjoy and why?

Books on communication, self awareness, leadership, conflict transformation, food forests, regenerative practices, fantasy, sci-fi,

...

What/who are some of your favorite movies/shows/actors/influencers?

long list

..

What kind of music moves you?

early baroque, jazz, linda sterling, harp, synth, blues, 80's, red priest, russian classicals, musicals-gershwin, gypsy kings, long list..

..

What are you most passionate about?

1)being able to be with my family, 2)recording & documenting as much of life as I possibly can,
3)communication, 4) saving my home and our family's story, 5)edible gardening, 6)zero-waste

..

What are you most grateful for in your life?

That mom n kiddo are here with me. That we are getting to record everything we do.
That we haven't yet lost all the property..that we still have a halfway working memory and body.. that none of us are bedridden yet.

...

What is the top priority in your life right now?

1st : being allowed to be with my mom &son,
2nd : documenting and recording everything in our life so that the information is used and stored by some AI somewhere
3rd: saving what remains of our family's urban pieces of land
and
4th: sharing our online project ideas with hopes that it will reach and inspire others in some small way with us sharing who we are as we are as we evolve and learn and grow ever so slowly and hopefully with your connection to us as well.

....

Where do you see yourself 5 years from today?

after saving & transforming the properties with vision we have for it,
maybe learning a few languages and maybe traveling some with and documenting those travels?

...

What type of travel do you enjoy?

ALL -+ but ONLY if we have a working camera with enough battery and storage space to video and record the entirety of it all.

2021 update: I also will not be doing any travelling until after we have saved our family's propety and it is safely in a trust so that should anything happen to us on our travels, it will be ensured that the project will continue on without us. feel free to ask to see a draft of the project we would like to work on for our properties once we get the funds to accomplish it.

...

Describe your dream/ideal vacation:

Where every moment is recorded from many different angles.. that my family is with me
And that we can finally feel safe & secure knowing that what remains of the family's property and what was stored within is now safe from being lost ..
Well the perfect one would also include knowing that we have gotten back the one we already had.
Ah last but not least.. having the freedom to explore whereever we are at or to do whatwver we do without time constraints!

...

Describe your ideal honeymoon:

depends on many factors

....

What kind of pets do you have? (Names)?

officially: one queen indoor/outdoor cat,
unofficially outside there are two opossums (well at least the opossums seem to be living off of our land)(though 2021 update, now it seems to be raccoons that took over no longer the oppossums), a thousand squirrels (actually that would be interesting to count to see how many there are actually are), periodically some bluejays when they migrate through, a couple of cardinals live outside, a few rockdoves, and a family of determined mocking birds who take all the grapes and mulberries each year, a gazillion snails and the lizards and garden snakes that eat them.
okay, none of them are pets.. they just all coexist with us.

Update 2022 - we also now have a little half blind probably quite old little chihuahua co-existing with us who has added a new dynamic to our lives

Update 2025/2026

Now it just back to the cat and us in a hotel room. 

..

Do you support any charitable organizations?

IF I had the money, there are several educators on Patreon whom I would support and the Inga Foundation, Geoff Lawton's Permaculture Institute, Dan Barber's Work, other land regenerative projects.

..

What makes you smile?

Kiddo, mom & I sharing events together.
Yummy meals,
When somebody lets me splurge on edible plants
When my family is together
When I am not worried about money or making our dreams come true

When I feel able to share our world with others

....

Ask me about:

More just save everyone some time - by telling you what you wish we could do for you - and/or what you think we can do for you ,so that you can help us with our dream, AFTER you have actually read everything that I wrote here in this profile for you.....

thank you for sharing your thoughts with us ...

....

Is there anything else you'd like to share?

I wish I could share with you some of the links we like to share neat insights and thoughts on.

Even if you dont think we would be a good match, I hope you will still allow us to be connected even just as acquaintances or as friends..

We are all always connected, but it would be nice to also be allowed to share views and thoughts & learn from you even off this site.

...

what would you like most?

I know on here I should have some spiritual answer

but that is ever ongoing journey that involves our whole entire lives

Right now this particular year,

what I would like most is unfortunately very worldy. to find a relationship with someone who actually wants to help us to save our family's home so we can create on it the vision we envision --This is the the first priority in a relationship we seek .. you must be willing to help us with OUR dream.
Sorry if that makes me seem like a narcissist or selfish but I need someone who cares about our dream please...and who wants to help us make it happen. That is the kind of person I truly need in our life right now.

I need someone who cares about helping us to achieve our dreams to turn our home and our garden turns into an edible oasis where artists and bodymind teachers and writers and other souls from around the world can come visit and rejuvenate in.

...

You need to be willing to help me & my son with our goals.

After that,maybe some help us save the rest of our family's dreams & transforming all the spaces we wish to change into an edible oasis (i will be honest, the whole vision includes shaping many places into places that would be giving back in abundance both passively through all the teaching mediums as we share what we are working on and teach others in the city)

Another thing we would like most is to Be connected to other folks who also encourage edible gardening, body listening, and even just simple awareness and kindness and patience and compassion and an allowing and encouraging of the world to be an interconnected rejuvenating safe place to coexist in.

-Being allowed to documenting our family's design journeys. -

I don't know if they will let me keep these FAQ but they seem to be important to anyone who is consider a relationship with us.

....

FAQ: in total, how much land do I want to transform : as little as it sounds, even there are different pieces of it, all together it is only about an acre. But our home which is the highest priority right now.. it is only a quarter of an acre. -- Remember this is INSIDE a city.

Next FAQ:
why not sell and buy land outside the city...? Several reasons.... One bc we want to show that this CAN be done INSIDE the city. We have actually seen different variations ofour dream/vision inside different cities, but we have our own variation we would like to do.

Also. Bc the whole of the pieces tell a story, our familys story.. And we would like to share the evolution of that story. And we would like for you to be a part of that story, please.


There is a blog called envisioningourgoals dot blogspot that answers tons of questions and talks about various obstacles we need help with.. though i am not sure how findable it is without the link. So you will have to write to us to get the link.

We hope you will choose to have a relationship with us, even if it is just as a supportibe friend

But even more so, we hope you will share our dream with us on an intimate level.

Note: intimate does not necessarily mean sexual.. it means on mental, emotional, psychic level .

what I would love to have you ask about

I know many on here are opposed to social media but do you know of a better way to reach folks who might not otherwise have a way to be exposed to new and interesting ideas or perspectives?
We would like to someday inspire- and that medium exists and allows for an interconnected tapestry of perspectives and ideas so wanted to be a part of that sharing of ideas and thoughts into the medium of souls.
I forgot I was not allowed to post any links to any of our online projects that talk about our journey, so they were taken down, but I would love it if you asked about them.

My son and I started have experimented and over the years created various different youtube channels experiments nd a few facebook pages to share the different aspects of our journey and facsinating evolution & creation of ideas with other in hopes of inspiring others..

from our gardening/cooking journey, to our bodylisteningawarness journey,
to our overall homeschooling/life/learning journey.

We even have a couple of twitter pages that we rarely post on but they exist for those who like that medium..

and even have a Patreon page and makesupport page which I do hope you will ask about, both with links to most of it in hopes of sharing our creations.. .

All in hopes of creating our own large interweaving network & connection to the soul & spirits that interconnects with other peoples networks and their own webs helping to interconnect the world into a beautiful synergistic tapestry of harmonious or intweaving interconnections... or something like that,

bit of amused laughter at our strange journey.

much love being sent out to you.. I am grateful for our connection to you..

Thank you!!!

...

Spiritual History

Grew up with a Buddhist Father, (who had once had our living room be a Meditation Hall with only pillows amd one rocking chair as furniture)

As a child, on the weekend he would take me to many different meditation halls and let me hold theoretical conversations with the different head monks of each place while he interacted with them.

One of my most profound moments and first enlightenment experiences was sitting on a snow bank next to a hot spring meditating & communing with nature outside as a 4 year old while my family sat inside meditating all day long. (At four, i found being inside a hall not quite as connecting as being outside in nature) ..

Since then I have had four other just as equally profound moments of wholeness and connection to something beyond itself and many smaller moments though just as profound in their own way.

Let's see what else, random bits... In college , I took several religious studies classes on Buddhism.

Around 21, I had some events occur which brought me to an Eastern Orthodox commune up in Alaska,where a priest who had studied both Zen Buddhism and Eastern Orthodoxy was staying at. On the second night there, he stayed up all night to translate vocabulary so I could discuss Buddhist ideas with the Orthodox terminology that was used at that commune

While up there in Alaska, the adventure continued on after the commune to a fishing boat which took me to Kodiak -- where I had many many many even more profound spiritual moments while living "homeless" on that island.

From the first night homeless , to a later morning i "woke up realizing the profoundness of our journey of being in Alaska at all and the beauty of the journey that had brought us there, after staying up all night on a illegal island,

to the beautiful experiences I had living for a week with a small handful of nuns on a different moss covered island that was off the main travel paths,

Although I may not seem as spiritual as some bc I dont seem to emphasize that part of the journey outwardly... Inwardly it is still important part even as we have been focusing now on saving my family's property..

The journey does still continue even while we try to do this.

Though probably from a different angle now

- both as a single mother interacting with a very old soul coping with being in a new life (ie . when kiddo was 3, instead it felt like i was an interacting with a 3000 year old sage in a 3 yr old body and even as he has gotten older it has been about helping him come to terms with the limitations of the world around him when he gets frustrated or confused of why it doesnt it have all the same understandings that he has)

Mixing that all in and combining it all with all the new 'disabilities' I now have....

And mixing that with the existential quandaries that watching a parent go through dimensia up close can do..
(It is nonstop grief and recogniztion of the frailty of the human mind with a soul deep underneath it all)

The journey has only gotten more profound, interesting and insightful....

From the twilight zone experience of how our my ex left after 20 years changing all that we knew about people and life...

To the world experiencing covid and the changes around us it made

to our own expereinces caring for my mother confronting and learning more about myself and why certain parts of me existed..

To raising a child who was so different and unique who became the teacher ..
... where i had to "unlearn" all the myths and theories about how children were "supposed to be"....

To the journey of trying to figure out how to find someone who will help or share our dream to save this place to use it as a place to continue to teach and awaken....


Learning a spiritual journey that includes it all..

Trying to stay connected to the wisdom of patience and the beauty of the journey along the way.

Bodymind Listening

When I was a little girl, I could not hear music without dances being constantly choreographed in my head. Dance was my expression, my way of being.

Then some events occured .. and my mind became paralyzed with that world only sneaking through to me at brief random moments...

Also starting from before I can remember, though dad used to say even as young as two, the way I connected to folks was different.. through touch, hearing their minds through muscles and people's body language ... When I placed my hand on someone's back I heard people on a totally different level then words.. I "heard" the movement the conversations of their muscles. I processed it as a sort of sound only without sound but it might as well have been sound.

For years, I never charged people for this touch bc it was my way of connecting to the world until one day I was in need of a healing touch myself and it took me two weeks before I could find someone who could do the same for me that I had been doing for others my entire life. Suddenly I started to become aware of being taken advantage. I went to a school to learn how to utilize this skill professionally, but never could quite accept the coldness of the way the connection was taught despite its healing nature.

So I let my license expire and tried to utilize all that I have learned in life in other different ways.

I am still learning how to incorporate how I am, and the knowledge I have, and the abilities I have, in a world that asks for me to relate to it in a different way then I would like to be..

The journey is long.

...

Faq: how big is our little space that we are working on saving

Well it's small. A typical city size, if you knowuch about cities. Even after we save all five areas throughout the city, it will still only be about an acre in total. Why the heck would we care about something so very very very small, you ask, when we could do something bigger. Because in our eyes, this is something BIGGER. It's about teaching folks that they don't have to leave the cities to create that little preserve and connection to nature. It's about showing that you can connect to nature right where you are!
If everyone left the city to go out into nature to create their little havens, eventually there won't be any nature left to preserve. It actually saddens us deeply that people feel that they have to leave a city to connect to nature. There is so much mature that can be found within a city, and if can't, then it can be created and restored and rejuvenated until it can! It's about a mindset. It's about integrating our human worlds WITH nature. It's about healing our cities with a biophilic connection to ourselves, to each other and to life, . It's about promoting living in harmony with other humans AND with mother earth alike! It's ambitious, I know, and thats only the top of the dream since our eventual goal is to do this across many cities but we begin with the place that means the most to us.its about creating a web of nodes within the city to help regenerate the city. Like a root structure spread out throughout the city bringing in life and energy nutrients of nature itself flowing through the city. For us, it begins with our family's small temmy tiny bit land and home at the center of it all....
And from there we will expand our and help to heal the cities own node at a time..and eventually many nodes at a time as our movement grows and heals and regenerates as it grows...

It's about healing and changing the mindset of humanity as a whole. How much bigger than that can you get? Lol?

...

Reasons why you might not want to connect..

So, a small observation. Folks skim my profile and think they are so in love with me, but then when they actually go back to read the profile, they go oh my gosh, what was I thinking, lol. I suppose in a way it is mildly amusing how one second a person can profuse their love and then the next moment, can be just as passionately appalled by my profile once they really took the time to read it... Lol.
Giggle.
So most of you are looking for a soul mate and although there is a part of me that wish dearly that I could be the right kind of person to be your soul mate, the universe created me in strange ways.

I am quite aware that with most of your, the most that can be hoped for is a decent friendships between you and my family. And I am ever so greatful for those connections and I do so treasure the people I have met on here. ..

i know you wanted a soulmate and get upset when you find out I am not what you were going for, but I do so hope that you will allow a friendship connection nonetheless.. and allow us to have a network of contacts in the world.

I really am truly sorry that unless you are someone who can help us with our home and/or who is okay being connected to my family as a whole, high chances are that we best we can hope for is just an occasionally really nice supportive friendship with some of you.. which would be nice.

Anybody who can be accepting and allowing of our little family as strange as it is is a prized treasure in life!..

But if any of these things in the list below are going to make it so that you can't even seem it possible to be even just be friends with us, I'd rather we find this out early instead of getting me all excited about having you being friends with us only to find out that I am just too strange for you to even do that little bit .

So here's the short list of things that people run away from but which are primary characteristics about who and how I am:
1) I record all of life.
2) I will do moments over again sometimes many times just so I can try to capture the moment from more than one angle. If you don't ever try to do a cleanup task or a moving something around in my space, you are less likely to see this detail about me.
3) my kiddo is a 'they...' or an 'it' .. actually we just are just a whatever we are right at that moment kind of people. Life is fluid. Who we are is also fluid. Everyone has a more than one aspect to their personality. who we are this minute might not be the same as who we are a few hours from now.. ..we learned the hard way, a lot can happen between one moment in time and the next moment in time.
4) speaking of time, I am horrible at time constraints..
5) if you ask any of us to be different than we are, unless we are financially dependent on you, we will probably balk at that and discourage connection after that point .

6) if we are going somewhere, my family comes with me. Mom has dementia and she can barely handle if she doesn't know when one of us is gone, so please dont ask to make my life harder by asking me to leave the home in such a way where I cannot be available to them or them to me. Even if she didnt have dementia, I'd still would not like you anymore if you ever asked me to do that...

7) our family cosleeps in same room so if you want me to be someone who can have a traditional relationship with you, yeah, I am sorry,. unfortunately that probably can't happen right now.. I have often said to myself that there is an exception to this and that is if we found someone who could actually save our home, I might be willing to upend and change our lives if that is what it took to save our home.

But I gotta be honest, I am not certain I'd be entirely thrilled about the idea of being asked to do that as your condition to help us... .. even though I might be willing to do what it took to help my family , I suppose, especially to ensure that we dont have our home ripped away from us and that our family is kept safe, I do wonder if it would really be in our best interest to be with someone who didn't accept us strange as we are..

.. I know all this horrifies many people's sense of right and wrong... and I do so deeply apologize if my putting my family and our home first in life might be offensive to some .. humble humble humble apologizes if how we are might not match your own world order.

Humble humble apologizies..

Why am I on here ONLY looking for mental and emotional connection, not physical:

I hope this helps make it more clear so that there is less confusion from folks:

When I care about all people , i care about them all in the same way that I care about my parents and children and siblings and cousins and close neighbors...

I am mentally and emotional incapable of caring about people in any of the amorous ways.

If you are hoping to receive a relationship from me beyond friendship than we most certainly should not be talking at all.

I am on here only looking to network and be acqaintaince's with interesting people who share similar interests and /or to developing a few neat friends for the family... Of course the ultimate icing would be if I could find a few folks who enjoyed my family and enough to actually be willing to provide for only small amounts of our mental time and mental attention since I cannot provide a physically intimate one, but I know that in the dating world that does not exist ,so here on this site, we are just happy for interesting friendships for the family, networking with like-minded gardening friends, and or just some good old fashioned neat pen pals...

Although my family and I do provide hugs to all all people we meet, I personally cannot handle being kissed or cuddled with in a sexual way.

I am not looking for providers in the form of a relationship, but providers in the form of mental friendships only and or providers in the form of folks who appreciate my family and I for small portions of time and who appreciate the mental and emotional connection enough to provide for only that aspect of me since that is all I can provide

If you seek much more than that ,please know that I cannot provide anything physically intimate - bc I have had experiences in my life that leave me unable to receive or provide affection in that way.. I need people to respect my traumas and not push me on this matter , PLEASE !

the only way I am capable of receiving affection is in the form of cooperation, acceptance, MENTAL appreciations over physical appreciation,though the folks I truly admire above all else are the folks who are able to show a caring for our financial survival in this world.

All I can provide though is a caring all accepting approach for peoples mental and emotional well-being which in today's world is a big thing that is so rarely offered, but never a sexually intimate one....I am sorry of this is deeply offensve to many people.

For me, it is also equally deeply offensive when people try to ask me to receive love in a physically intimate way when I feel I have so clearly stated that I am only seeking purely only mental and emotional connections!!!

If you are hoping for or expecting or needing that ever from me, then we should not be talking bc that is not something I can ever ever provide.

I can provide an accepting and appreciative pen pals, and friendships only.